if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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