I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
