it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
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Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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