I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
