my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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