It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
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They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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