im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
