I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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