if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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