why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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