Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
