I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
