To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
