she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize