just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
