Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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