Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
