Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
