im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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