Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize