Whod you bang
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
