there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
