Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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