dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
