If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize