hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
