god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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