And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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