i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
