dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
