i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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