Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
