he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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