fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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