Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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