So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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