I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
