so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
