this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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