Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
