I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
25 Facts Men Donâ€™t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie