C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.