maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up