I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order