Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.