No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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