just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
