After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
