would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
