Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
