That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize