I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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