dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
