please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
