Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
