Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
