why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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