I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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