I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize