dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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