so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
