i already hear my dad disowning me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
