I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.