He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
