I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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