he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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