I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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